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joi, 31 ianuarie 2008

Why do i write?

What do I do when I have nothing to write about? Often I relax in nihilism, believing that there is nothing worthy in this world. Generally this attitude gives me some satisfaction, but in the end, the burden of living in a world, from which I cannot escape, overwhelms me. The life always finds a way to grab me in her merciless claws and afterwards it sends me on the right track.

From time to time, I take a piece of paper and just write thoughts from my stream of conscience, like so many others have done it before me. The final product never stops to amaze me! This is a sample of what I have wrote a couple of months ago: “ Overflowed by alcohol my tiny heart will run away from my body, like a crazed whirligig the waiters throw away the empty mugs, around me only unknown persons. Yes, I am siting in an obscene bar, where the cigarette smoke enters deep inside your body”. This paragraph is quite ruggy, but I’m sure it will give me a good starting point for a short story.

In a notebook of mine I have found another fly away thought: “Another used day... blowned away by smoke. I have a terrible headache and even in dreams I don’t seem to exist! White black, the eternal gold sunken in ancient Egipt! Only words remain.” Reading those two beautifull thoughts, a rational person could say, that I was massively drunk when I wrote them. He may be right, but that’s not the point here. For example a lot of French writers from the 19 century consumed huge amounts of absinth and still, most of them, created enjoyable works of art.

Maybe I am telling you this story to convince myself that i can stiil compose a good aricle! But then again, I can’t remember the last time, I was content by something that I have wrote. Surely, this insatisfaction must be a good thing, since it keeps my senses sharp.

In this moment, I am putting myself a question: Why the hell do I write in english? Well, I feel a good flow of words coming from my brain and the best language that can cover them is english.

Looks like I am talking to myself, I am going to stop now and continue this article when I’ll be in a better mood.

11 comentarii:

friendlyheart spunea...

Sa sti ca chiar im place articolul ! Nu este deloc ceva ciudat ca scri in engleza ! Chiar nu ai de ce sa pui aceasta intrebare "WHY DO I WRITE?" ! Consider ca scri pentru ca ai talent , si pasiune !


P.S. Chiar imi place mult articolul:)

aleash spunea...

da...scrII pentru ca poti :)) de ce scrii in engleza...pentru ca e o limba cu infinit mai multe vocale decat limba romana :D si poti folosi cuvinte mari si tonul afectat...don't we all? scriem jumatate in romana, jumatate in engleza...si multe lucruri le gandim direct in engleza...unul dintre cele mai pure instincte furat...INJURAM in engleza...
scrii ca sa fii interesant...ca sa citeasca altii....motiv pentru care altii comenteaza ce-ai scris tu si e un interminabil cerc vicios...blog-ul e noul X. And then....it all leads to one simple thing...sex :)) impressing representative of the opposite sex....being it voluntary or not....it's usually why we do anything that is not imposed on us :))

mace spunea...

friendlyheart: iti multumesc pentru sustinere, am nevoie sa ma inconjor de oameni sinceri. Din momentul in care am scris acest articol, in general am primit feedback (ca sa folosesc un cuvant la moda) pozitiv dar tot nu sunt multumit. Totusi, raman la parerea ca insatisfactia este creatoare.

aleash: ai raspuns mai bine la intrebarea "de ce scriu?" decat am facut-o eu (am senzatia uneori ca exagerez). dar nu cred ca inteleg ce ai vrut sa spui prin "it all leads to one simple thing...sex"
De fapt cred ca refuz sa inteleg, deoarece nu prea imi plac determinariile de orice fel. Cerc vicios suna prea dur, wait, in legatura cu ce ai spus tu, mi-a intrat acum in minte melodia The Bad Touch de la Bloodhound Gang :))
Mi-ai redat buna dispozitie, pana acum am fost prea serios =))

aleash spunea...

:D eu si uitasem de piesa aia...stiam numele, dar nu-mi aminteam piesa...am o ascult si m-a pufnit rasul =)) ei...intotdeauna mi s-a parut ca e foarte "true" piesa asta :-> dar exagerata desigur. Everything people do when interacting implies some sort of sexual connection. I don't mean to go all Freud on you now...oricum viziunea e personala...sigur nu originala, dar formata prin alte mijloace decat lectura. Dar..e ca reclama aia de la sprite :D cu..."Hey, shefa....sprite o sa-ti zica o faza tare...PRIETENUL TAU TE DORESTE" :)) and it goes for girls too... Nu ca nu cred intre prietenii dintre fete si baieti...i've had my fair share...dar la un moment dat...fie s-a consumat chestia...a.k.a. becoming friends with your ex-boyfriend, girlfriend...sau...au existat intentii...poate n-au fost impartasite etc. Poate consideri exagerare...obsesie, frustrare :)) dar...mie mi se pare...ca atunci cand scrii ceva, cand desenezi ceva...cand canti sau joci un sport bine...o faci pentru tine, da...dar de cate ori n-o faci din dorinta de a fi apreciat? Si undeva in strafundul mintii...admiratia sexului opus e aceea pe care o cauti...acolo...dupa aprecierea personala, a parintilor, a profesorilor...e si nevoia asta...
La asta m-am referit :D

mace spunea...

Corect, de ce te-ai apuca sa scrii ceva, daca nimeni nu te va citi. Totusi nu cred ca eu caut neaparat admiratia sexului opus. In lumea blogurilor, persoanele sunt androgine: de exemplu mi-am dat seama dupa primul coment ca esti fata fara sa ma uit pe blogul tau, dar acest lucru nu este neaparat important fiindca distanta estompeaza diferentele dintre sexe. Nu imi ramane decat sa incerc sa vorbesc cat mai onest.
Iar apropo de priteniile dintre fete si baieti: nu vad de ce crede lumea ca prietenia dispare atunci cand esti implicat intr-o relatie care depaseste granitele amicitiei.

aleash spunea...

well...when you have to be careful with everything you do...it's hard to stay friends with that person :)) poate sa redevii prieten cu persoana aceea la mai mult timp dupa ce a inceput relatia...sau sa incepi mai intai relatia....apoi prietenia...
Stiu ca nu mai are legatura cu articolul initial dar tot aici postez :))
era clar ca sunt fata :D poate si din nume, dar daca zici ca nu din nume te-ai prins...te cred oricum...pentru ca era evident din ce am zis si felul in care am zis-o. Dar spune-mi....in ce scop crezi ca ti-a comentat articolul domnisoara de 15 ani "friendlyheart"? :)) cu atatea osanale...
It's so easy to project something you're not through the things you write...acel "tu" general...din nou :p

friendlyheart spunea...

Poate domnisoara de 15 ani a comentat articolul pentru ca avea o parere ce este permis in lumea blogului :))
Sii daca vine vorba de acest lucru ..nu fiecare om cauta admiratia sexului opus . Poate ii place sa schimbe ganduri cu ceilalti :P
Apropo de prietenie nimic nu este imposibil daca doresti cu adevarat :)

aleash spunea...

poate :D

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Anonim spunea...

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