Why do i write?

What do I do when I have nothing to write about? Often I relax in nihilism, believing that there is nothing worthy in this world. Generally this attitude gives me some satisfaction, but in the end, the burden of living in a world, from which I cannot escape, overwhelms me. The life always finds a way to grab me in her merciless claws and afterwards it sends me on the right track.

From time to time, I take a piece of paper and just write thoughts from my stream of conscience, like so many others have done it before me. The final product never stops to amaze me! This is a sample of what I have wrote a couple of months ago: “ Overflowed by alcohol my tiny heart will run away from my body, like a crazed whirligig the waiters throw away the empty mugs, around me only unknown persons. Yes, I am siting in an obscene bar, where the cigarette smoke enters deep inside your body”. This paragraph is quite ruggy, but I’m sure it will give me a good starting point for a short story.

In a notebook of mine I have found another fly away thought: “Another used day... blowned away by smoke. I have a terrible headache and even in dreams I don’t seem to exist! White black, the eternal gold sunken in ancient Egipt! Only words remain.” Reading those two beautifull thoughts, a rational person could say, that I was massively drunk when I wrote them. He may be right, but that’s not the point here. For example a lot of French writers from the 19 century consumed huge amounts of absinth and still, most of them, created enjoyable works of art.

Maybe I am telling you this story to convince myself that i can stiil compose a good aricle! But then again, I can’t remember the last time, I was content by something that I have wrote. Surely, this insatisfaction must be a good thing, since it keeps my senses sharp.

In this moment, I am putting myself a question: Why the hell do I write in english? Well, I feel a good flow of words coming from my brain and the best language that can cover them is english.

Looks like I am talking to myself, I am going to stop now and continue this article when I’ll be in a better mood.